Calling us out

So one of our readers made a comment that this was the least diety diet blog in the history of diet blogs and well, we guess he would be right. Yes, this blog IS about being on a diet but mainly, it's all about the "CHEAT" for us and of course the wine.  Cheat day is a very big deal. It's when we get to let loose and make our wildest taste bud dreams come true. It's a time when we get to share our zany adventures and show our fun, crazy side as we cheat.

Let's see if we can explain it in a way so that our readers can understand what we're talking about.  The diet (or life changing eating habits) is kind of like us being kids cooped up in the house because it's raining and we are bored and trying to find ways to entertain ourselves, all the while driving our parents crazy. We're kids so all we really want is to be outside playing with our friends and not having a care in the world.

Cheat day is when the rain stops and then low and behold the clouds part and the sun comes out beaming it's warm rays down upon the earth. We bolt for the door, sling it wide open and run outside as fast as we can to release all the energy that is racing through our veins and needs to be freed.  We run around the yard in circles with our arms flailing above our heads, mouths open and tongues hanging out while making loud kid squealing noises - then run to our friends' houses and furiously knock on their door to ask if they can come out and play?  And when they do, we all jump on our bikes and pedal as fast as we can down the street until we are just about out of sight, as our mom yells, "be home in time for dinner". Can't you imagine the smiles on our faces and feel how happy we are?

Well, that's how we actually feel when cheat day arrives because being on the diet is us cooped up in the house when it's raining. It's very hard. And cheat day is the sun coming out and us feeling care-free and being happy.  So now that we have established the vast difference between the two, let's make this blog all about the diet.  Our reader is right, in the sense that he hasn't really gotten a glimpse inside our world as we struggle on the diet.  To know what we do and eat and say and think on a weekly basis may or may not be very interesting, but hopefully it will be informative.  So, let's get this non-party started, shall we?  It's Monday evening and cheat day is over, no doubt we've had a great twenty-four hours of eating whatever we wanted, but now it's time to get down to business. This is the most work preparation wise because we have to plan the menu, shop, cook, and then prepare our meals for the week, so this is when it really pays to have a sista wife to help ease the work load -  two brains and four hands is definitely a bonus.  So here's what we will have for the week:

Breakfast:   It's always eggs (scrambled, hard boiled, omelet, or egg muffins) and some kind of beans (whole black, re fried black or re fried pinto). We do our best to spice things up by using our 2 favorite spices: turmeric and cayenne pepper. We put it in everything; oh and jalapeños - either pickled or fresh.  We throw all kinds of veggies in our eggs: onions, fresh garlic, mushrooms, tomatoes, asparagus and spinach.  Not all at the same time (but you can), we switch it up day to day, but have our staples of onions and garlic. Since we can't have butter sometimes we use olive oil or ghee (a clarified butter you can buy at Whole Foods) to saute the veggies.  For the beans we just plop them in a pot right out of the can and add: jalapeños, turmeric and cayenne pepper.

Snacks:  Tomatoes (grape or cherub), carrots or celery and Sabra roasted red pepper hummus, walnuts or almonds.

Lunch and Dinner:  Protein, salads, soups and vegetables.  This week it's 1) Turkey Chili, 2) Italian Sausage, Kale and White Bean Soup, 3) Chicken Sausage (Roasted Red Pepper & Spinach) with a jalapeño mustard sauce.

Now here's the thing, we have a quirky way of cooking because we really don't measure anything when we cook and make up recipes. We just kind of add things here and there.  We try to start out with less so we can add more if need be. We probably should measure so when we share our recipes with you they are more accurate - we'll try harder next time, but when we are chopping and cooking together, listening to music, drinking red wine and exhausted, we just kind of go with the flow. Here are this weeks 3 recipes.

Turkey Chili:

2lbs Turkey
1 large sweet onion
1 can of black beans
1 can charro beans (or whatever kind of beans you like)
1 packet taco seasoning
1 packet ranch seasoning
Cayenne pepper
Chili powder
Cracked black pepper
Turmeric
Mushrooms
Fresh Garlic
Tomatoes

Cook onions, mushrooms and garlic in a large pot and then add the turkey.  Cook well and then add canned beans, taco seasoning, ranch seasoning, cayenne pepper, chili powder, black pepper and turmeric and a splash or two of red wine... Cut tomatoes in half and throw in. Let sit and cook for 20mins plus... Especially good the next day.

Italian Sausage, Kale & White Bean Soup:

1LB Italian Sausage

2 Cans White or Great Northern Beans

1 Large Onion

1 Bag Sweet Kale Vegetable Salad (from Costco - if you can't find this, you can use a bag of Kale)

1 Box Chicken Broth (33% less sodium)

8 Cups of Water

Salt

Cracked Black Pepper

Red Pepper

Cook the onions until well done. Then add the sausage and red pepper. Once cooked all the way through,  add the chicken broth & water. Then add the canned beans, and Kale salad, salt, pepper.  Let sit for 20 minutes and then serve immediately or  pack for next days lunch.

Chicken Sausage, Peppers and Jalapeño Mustard:

2 Packages Chicken Sausage (Roasted Red Pepper & Spinach [Costco])
1 Red Bell Pepper
1 Yellow Bell Pepper
1 Orange or Green Bell Pepper
1 Large Onion
Mushrooms
Garlic
Woeber's Jalapeño Mustard (Our favorite brand that we can only seem to find now @ Walmart)

Saute Onions in a Pot. Then add chicken sausage and cook for 10 minutes. Add garlic, mushrooms, red pepper, yellow pepper, orange or green pepper.  Cook all together. Do not drain. Once done, add Woeber's Jalapeño Mustard and stir. Make sure flavors blend well and if not, add more of whatever sounds good. Enjoy!!

So these are just a few of the recipes we came up with while trying the Slow Carb diet based on Tim Ferriss's 4-Hour Body. We hope you like them.  So you be the judge as to what you want to read more of: diet or cheat day?  Or maybe a nice balance of the two would be cool. Hee hee, get it? A nice balance - balanced diet... Oh man we crack ourselves up.

Hey...Fondue

There will be times when we occasionally fall off the chuck wagon (see our previous post of the same title) and this just happens to be another one of them.  We've had our very best friends from Switzerland and their children staying with us at Casa de Maven for the last 2 weeks.  They call themselves the Swiss Family Flintstones - cute, huh?  

We really wanted to continue our healthy way of eating when they arrived and thought we could stay the course, but quickly figured out that it wouldn't be any fun for them (especially the kids) nor for us, quite frankly.  They travelled a really long way to see Austin for the first time and by golly we were going to show it to them.  We wanted to make sure they had a great time so we threw everything out the window and decided to go with the flow for their sake. Yeah, yeah, for their sake.  There was no use beating ourselves up about it because having them visit us was a very big deal - a special occasion and cause for celebration - and we knew that we'd be able to get back on track as soon as they were on a plane headed home for the Alps.  Besides, they brought us all kinds of goodies like cheeses, cookies & chocolate and it would be so rude of us not to try them while in their presence, right?  

Especially the cheese (Jenn was jumping for joy).  Switzerland has some of, if not the best, cheese in the world and the stinkier the better. Yes we said Stinkier. Some of it stinks to high heaven - even as bad as dirty feet, but it's delicious!! Yum... dirty feet, stinky cheese.

Just to name a few: Appenzeller, Gruyere, Tilsiter and Raclette - and then there's Fondue... Cheese Fondue - Oh Hell Yes!!!  The recipe we have was handed down to us by our friends, so it's a la Swiss.  Have you ever tried it? Basically it's just cheese - so it helps to be a cheese lover - and garlic (at least that's how we make it) in a communal fondue pot which sits in the middle of the table. 

Folks sit around and take turns dipping their bread, tomatoes and sometimes pears into it with long skewer-like forks. The meal wouldn't be complete without some cold Apfel Schnapps - we put it in the freezer to get it chilled just right before pouring. Watch out for this stuff... it tastes like apple juice (but better) so it sneaks up on you if you throw back too many which of course we always do. We keep a little on the side for soaking the bread beforehand because it really brings out the flavor of the cheese and adds a kick.

Before the first drink of Apfel Schnapps, there's a traditional ritual chant that we perform.  It goes like this:  Zicke Zacke Zicke Zacke Hoi Hoi Hoi Zicke Hoi Zicke Hoi Zicke Hoi Hoi Hoi.  It doesn't really mean anything- it's just a chant of Cheers.  It's also used as an Oktoberfest drinking chant and we're told the Swiss Military use it, but we don't think they are guzzling Apfel Schnapps afterwards, but who knows?  Once we have accomplished the chant, it's time to throw back the schnapps, start dipping your bread and get the party started.  The chant usually makes it's way into the meal several more times throughout the night.  It goes a little something like this (see video)...

We also enjoy white wine with the meal and have a pot of tea on hand for drinking throughout which helps aid in your digestion. Fondue can be heavy and sit in your stomach like a brick, so tea is the trick to avoiding major constipation (you're welcome). And then there are the garlic cloves at the bottom of the pot which are little nuggets of gold if you are lucky enough to skewer some. We make a game out of it and fight over the cloves if they happen to drop back in the cheese. You can buy a ready-made fondue that comes in a box with 2 foil pouches you cut open and squeeze out into the fondue pot over the stove -

add a little Kirsch (cherry liquor made in the Black Forest of Germany) and some white wine then grab a wooden spoon (it has to have a hole in it so the cheese can flow through) and stir in a figure 8 type movement until melted and smooth. 

It's an old wives tale that if you are a woman and happen to be on your "special time of the month" (you know, when we ladies come across happier than a mocking bird and sweeter than a freshly picked Fredericksburg peach) you are not allowed to stir the fondue as it will fall or fail to turn out right.  They take this very seriously and so do we - we are not taking any chances with that one.  We secretly think that it was made up by women to give them a break from having to cook (even though it's technically really not cooking) and to get the men involved.  Hey ladies, maybe we should use that "special time of the month" excuse all the time, huh?  Unless you are a woman married to woman and then it most definitely won't work in either of your favors.  There is also a fresh fondue version made up of Vacherin and Gruyere cheese, but you can only get it in France or Switzerland at the specialty cheese shop.  They slice it and then put it into a machine which grates it all up for you.  Oh Sugar!!! It's so delicious. When we happen to be in Switzerland visiting our friends and are priviledged enough to get to enjoy this fresh version, we always open the bag on the ride home and eat some. And then some more and some more... it's surprising that there is ever any left by the time we get home. Having Fondue with the Flintstones is definitely a unique, fun, one of a kind experience that never ever disappoints. However, it always turns into an all night affair so you must have your party hat on when you sit down at the table. 

Just ask our neighbor who recently got to experience it when the temperature dropped into the 50's one night making it perfect weather for fondue.  After a bite or two and a shot of Apfel Schnapps he texted his wife, "I may be in trouble".

Scheisse we were up until 6:30 am!! That's right, the sun was coming up and the birds were chirping when we finally decided to call it a night - well, the guys gave up around 5:00ish.  Our neighbor was smart enough to have gone home much earlier in the night and told us the next day that he got up at 4:00 am to let the dog out and heard us still going strong.  Ha-Ha-Ha the women were wreaking havoc upon the night.  So there you have it, a night of Swiss Fondue with the Flintstones & the Black Box Wine Mavens. When the Swiss & the Texans get together (Switxans), you know it's gonna be one hell of a good time!! YodelayYee-Haw!!