Black Box Maven Almost Down

The wine mavens are trying to plan a dinner menu around the fact that Jenn's hubby, who has been working and playing music so much lately, has a night off. It's a rare thing when we are all home at the same time and can actually sit down together at the table and enjoy a nice dinner. Richelle cooks a mean tri-tip steak with sauteed mushrooms so we decide that will be the main course for tonight's dinner. Then we come up with the idea for surf and turf to include Jenn's garlic, cayenne pepper shrimp and our bacon wrapped asparagus. We get ready to start the meal preparation but first thing's first - we must pour ourselves a glass of Black Box Shiraz and turn on some tunes. Currently, the Outfield is playing and we are singing along as we cohesively move about the kitchen cooking our individual dishes. It's looking so good and our mouths are watering as the delectable aromas of bacon, garlic, onions and mushrooms (in a black box red wine sauce - of course) fill the air. At this time, our work in preparing the food is done - we are now waiting for everything to finish cooking. Hubby comes in to set the table while we stand around chatting about this and that and enjoy drinking our wine for a moment. Suddenly we hear the timer go off - beep, beep, beep - Ahhh.... the sound of "dinner is ready."

The wine mavens plate the food and hubby says, "man this looks delicious. I feel like a king. Thank you."

The three of us take our seats at the table and it feels like a scene from that show Three's Company  with Jack, Janet and Chrissy - because the three of us living together under one roof has a "quirky charm." Except in our sitcom, Jack & Chrissy are married and Janet & Chrissy are sista wives (see our blog: Two Bees in a Pod & Sista Wives Rock for our definition of sista wives).

Jenn cuts into her steak and notices that it's way too rare for her liking. She says, "gross this thing is still mooing" and jumps up to cook it some more. Richelle has just put the first bite of steak in her mouth and starts to laugh - as she does this, the steak gets sucked down her throat like a vacuum. Jenn is standing at the kitchen island when she looks up at Richelle and notices her acting strangely. "Are you alright?" Jenn asks. Richelle shakes her head 'no' then stands up and grabs her glass of wine and takes a drink. Jenn drops what she is doing and runs over and grabs her from behind and starts doing the Heimlich maneuver ("an emergency technique for preventing suffocation when a person's airway becomes blocked by a piece of food or other object").

It's one of the many life saving tools Jenn is thankful she has learned from her training as a flight attendant. Only this is the very first time she has ever had to use it. After a few pumps, the wine comes spewing out and both Jenn and hubby look at the wine on the floor, then at each other, then over at Richelle for approval shaking their heads yes? Richelle furiously shakes her head NO and continues to hold and point at her throat, so Jenn kicks it into turbo gear as she is hell bent on doing whatever it takes to save her friend. Not that she wasn't trying to save her earlier, but now it has just sunk in that this shit is for real and VERY SERIOUS! It's as though Jenn turns into the incredible hulk as she grabs Richelle again from behind and continues the Heimlich.

Only this time, she does it so hard that she actually lifts Richelle off her feet. She is determined to get the obstacle blocking Richelle's airway out of her mouth. It does not come out right away which is very scary because every second is crucial. After the third try, a huge piece of steak comes flying out of Richelle's mouth and lands on the floor. She gasps for air and then grabs Jenn and hugs her and Jenn hugs her right back. Richelle says, "OMG you just saved my life - I seriously thought I was going to die and I'm thinking, really, this is how I'm going down?  I literally couldn't breathe and saw my life flashing before my eyes." Jenn says, "well, you scared he shit out of me... look, I'm shaking." Clearly we are all shaken and still in disbelief as to what the hell just happened. Hubby high-fives Jenn and hugs Richelle and then we all sit back down at the table to try and relax and talk about it. Richelle says, "I can't even try to eat another thing - I'm so freaked out and my throat is sore."  Then we all look over at the steak on the floor as Jenn says, "Damn! That piece of meat is the size of a small country. What the hell were you thinking taking a bite that big?" We began to laugh through our tears because as scared as we still were, we seemed to be able to find humour in the situation now that everything was alright. Richelle said, "I wasn't thinking, obviously, but I had just put it in my mouth when you said your steak was mooing and that made me laugh and then the steak went down and the rest is history. I didn't even get a chance to chew it." "Well, don't do that again," Jenn says as she picks up her phone to take a picture of the thing on the floor that almost killed her friend.

Hubby yells, "do not do that;" but Jenn does it anyway. She says we need it as a reminder and he shakes his head in disbelief that his wife just actually took the picture. He then says, "This calls for a box of wine," to which both mavens interject, "EACH!" and then we all start to laugh some more because after that scare we really do all need our own box. There is no doubt that this was a scary situation and we know how very fortunate we are that it turned out to be a happy ending because not everyone is as lucky. The next night the mavens are sitting in the kitchen eating pasta when Richelle gives Jenn a scare by coughing. Jenn quickly stops everything she is doing and looks up at her. Richelle says, "relax. It's when you don't hear anything that you have to worry."  For the next several days, Jenn is still freaked out by the whole ordeal. She is so relieved and grateful that things turned out the way they did, resulting in Richelle being alive today, but she can't help but ask, "what if I didn't do the Heimlich right? What if I wasn't able to save you? What if? What if?" Richelle turns to her friend and answers, "then it would have sucked real bad." Jenn nods her head in agreement and replies, "True Dat"  and then the Black Box Wine Mavens/Sista Wives/Best Friends lift and clink their wine glasses in celebration of Life.